I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
