You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
