I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
