she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
