I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
