If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
