I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
