Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
