do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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