Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
