Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Boobs speak an international language.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
