So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
