It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
