I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
