You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
