kristin has been a bad kristin
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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