Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
