her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
All I want is dick and wine.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
