You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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