Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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