everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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