We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
