I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Terrible idea I love it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
false alarm, still single
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
