Please, let me fuck your mom
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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