Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She bit a glass in half.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
