Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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