Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
