Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
