I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
