i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
