is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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