Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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