I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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