what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
