Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
