My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
