Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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