the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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