He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
