Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
