There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
