you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My balls are so social today.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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