have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
