YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
