I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
