He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize