I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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