just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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