I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
