So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
