I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
