She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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