I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
