i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
